Monthly Archives: June 2009

How to apply the law of attraction to save a relationship?

June 28, 2009
saving a relationship
selena asked:


How to apply the law of attraction to save a relationship?
do you believe that the law of attraction could reform a bad relationship to an Ideal one or to make a new relationship after two persons break up sadly? how?

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June 28, 2009
saving a relationship
Sudath Priyantha asked:


John works long hours and Elizabeth does not feel he is there for her. Elizabeth spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and John feels that she does not have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here is how to save a failing relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every failing relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and does not want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a failing relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a failing relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a failing relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you have not dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the failing relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you do not spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a failing relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I have described in this article how to save a failing relationship.

 



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How do you know when a relationship or marriage is worth saving?

June 28, 2009
saving a relationship
bye bye asked:


When do you know if it is time to call a relationship quits?

How do you know if a relationship is worth saving?

Create a video blog…instantly.

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relationship ?

June 27, 2009
saving a relationship
Jluckie28 asked:


is giving eachother space going to save the relationship if you truly love eachother?i’m moving back to my parents will this work.

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June 25, 2009
saving a relationship
Jake Fitzgerald asked:


Learning how to save a relationship is possible. Even if your relationship seems to be teetering on the brink, there is still much you can do to rescue it. In fact, you can even make it stronger than ever.

This is true no matter what’s causing your problems. Even if you have issues between you that seem insurmountable (such as an affair or one partner falling out of love with the other), it’s extremely rare for a relationship to be beyond repair.

If you feel like you and your partner are headed for a split, now’s the time to take action, because every day you wait and carry on as before is one day closer to one of you walking out the door for good.

Knowing how to save a relationship means learning to recognize what the real issues are between you. Many times, couples will mask the real problems they’re having by starting distracting fights with each other about unimportant things. This is because it’s so uncomfortable to face what’s really wrong that we’ll often go to crazy lengths to avoid it.

If we sit back and take stock of what’s really going on, however, we’ll almost always see that the real issues aren’t as intimidating as we thought they were, and are also a lot more solvable.

So, take some time to sit down together and discuss what’s really on your minds as a couple. You might be surprised to find out that your partner has been concerned about the same issues in the relationship as you. Many couples are never even aware that their partner is on the same page as them when it comes to relationship issues, which is a shame, because more partnerships could be saved if it was otherwise.

Even if you have a completely different view of what the problems are in your relationship than your partner does, you can still talk about what you both see as the main issues and try to come to some kind of agreement or understanding.

When learning how to save a relationship, it’s also important for the two of you to spend quality time together. You can’t expect yourself to remember what it is you love about your partner if you’re not spending any time with him or her. You’ll just end up getting caught up in the stresses of everyday life and start to blame it all on your loved one. You’ll forget what attracted you to each other in the first place, and that’s a sure recipe for disaster.

So, the keys to how to save a relationship are being on the same page regarding what the issues are and talking about those issues openly, and spending quality time together doing things you both enjoy. If you do these two things, you’ll find that your relationship starts to feel a lot happier.

If you feel your relationship is on the verse of a break up, I want to share with you a very effective system in winning back the heart of your lover – even if there’s someone else.



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June 23, 2009
saving a relationship
Jackie Evans asked:


Stop for a moment and consider this relationship – Paul works extremely long hours – he enjoys work but primarily in the current climate he is making sure he is not one of those people that his company is considering making redundant, his partner Carla spends all of her time looking after their two children – cooking, washing, taking them to school and acting as a taxi for their very busy social lives! Now Paul feels that she does not have time for his needs and is not interested in him any more

So what do you think? – Can this relationship be saved? Should this relationship be saved? Personally I think this describes many relationships in this day and age (perhaps it even describes your relationship) and I think it should be saved, so here are 5 steps which could really save this relationship.

1 – First step is to decide whether the relationship is worth saving. Truth is, whilst every relationship can be saved with a little hard work, ultimately both parties must decide and agree that they want to make things work – If one of the partners has opted out and does not want to opt back in again, then the reality is that little can be done.

Unfortunately too many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient, or because of the children – but that really is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment from both parties that they both think the relationship is worth saving.

2 – The next step is to identify what the actual problem – or even problems there are in the relationship. One of the biggest problems in How to Save a Relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

Now most people would say that an affair is a problem that causes a relationship to break up – however the reality is that the affair is actually a symptom of a deeper problem within the relationship itself. For instance a lack of true intimacy between the partners can lead to one of them straying, now the injured party may well say – well the affair was what caused us to break up, when the actual truth was that there was no intimacy between the two partners.

By not dealing with the intimacy issue, all you are doing is putting the problem off to raise itself again in the future, now the future problem may well not be another affair, but it could be another problem – and this is all because you have not dealt with the core issue. When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

3 – Now that the core issues are on the table, you can start to share your thoughts. This not only means verbalizing your own feelings but also allowing your partner to do the same thing and listening to their concerns. One great piece of advice here is to make sure you hold your partners hand when you are talking about your problems as a sign that you want to re-connect even when your emotions are all over the place, but remember when your partner talks about things that hurt you – they are not doing this because they want to hurt you, but because they want to improve the relationship.

4 – Create an action plan – now that you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan on how to save your relationship and solve the problems. Then, make sure you take concrete steps to put your plan into action. If you don’t spend time together like you used to – then plan at least one date every week and make sure you stick to it. Both of you take turns in coming up with creative things to do on that night. Maybe talking or not communicating is the issue – well then plan to spend some regular time (perhaps before you go to bed) with no other distractions such as TV or even the kids! and talk.

5 – Finally, saving a relationship is not a one time throw away thing – it is an ongoing process and at times it may seem like trying to push water up hill! – You may take two steps forward only to take one step back – but hey if it is worth saving then it is worth going through a little pain – there is going to be equal measures of laughter and tears going forward. So remember to be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

So after all of that – is your relationship worth saving? Is your relationship very similar to the relationship outlined at the top of this article? If so then I have detailed a number of steps on how to save a relationship.



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Saving my relationship?

June 23, 2009
saving a relationship
sabin_f5 asked:


I am trying to save my relationship, i believe things have gone a little cold lately, i want to show him tht ic are without him feeling that i am suffocating him, you know all that kinds of stuff, this is the first time i am in a rlationship this serious and i am afraid of screwing up, can anyone give me advice on how to save it? Thanks.

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June 18, 2009
saving a relationship
Kenneth Dean asked:


The husband works till late and the wife feels abandoned and ignored.  The wife has a full schedule attending to the children and their needs and the husband feels he is neglected.  These nagging resentments are like ticking bombs that could explode anytime.  Is this relationship doomed or can it still be saved?  Let us go through the following tips on how to save a relationship.

Before going any further, it should first be determined if something can be gained from saving the relationship.  Secondly, are both partners in accord because one might desire to save it at any cost while the other already wants out?

Couples continue on with relationships for various reasons other than love.  Others stay for expediency, others for the sake of the children.  A relationship will never be well if these are the only elements involved, because a relationship is primarily about two committed individuals working towards a common goal.  Thus, how to save a relationship that is in this mode will almost be next to impossible.

The next step is to identify the real contributing factors in the troubled relationship.  Most of the time people misdiagnose the real cause of the problem by taking the symptoms at face value and believe it to be the major problem.

Let me illustrate this.  One of the partners is having an affair and naturally, when found out will cause major disagreements or even separation.  However, if you look deeper, unfaithfulness is not the problem per se but what led one to do it.  Then we will see that the adultery was caused by the absence of intimacy from the legal relationship.  If this will not be addressed, even if the guilty partner tries to clean up his/her act, another aberration might crop up, such as addiction to pornography, because the root of the problem has not been managed.

Solving the underlying problems rather than the more evident but superficial issues will give the partners a better chance of saving their relationship.

As soon as the root of the problems has been acknowledged, the couple can now start sharing their feelings about it.  Talking about it as well listening to each other’s point of view is a positive sign that they want to go through the process of healing.  There might be matters that your partner will discuss that might be hurtful or sensitive, but it should be taken as part of the process and not done to deliberately hurt you.

When the problems have been specified, the next step is to agree on a course of action to work them out.  Of course, the next big step is to implementing the plans.  If the problem is not having enough time spent together, then set a date to go out one night a week.  You can brainstorm on exciting ways to spend an evening.  If lack of communication is the problem, you allot a time such as before bedtime, to tell each other how each other’s day was.  The important thing is to execute the plan religiously.  At first, it might feel like a regimented routine, but as the process progresses, it would come naturally.

Trying to save a troubled relationship is a monumental task and could take sometime before you see positive results.  There are many pitfalls along the way.  But if both partners are resolute to save the relationship plus backed by the love which brought them together in the beginning, then there is no way to go but forward.  No matter how hard, learn to say “I’m sorry” and mean it and forget saying “I told you so”.

If you believe your relationship is worth saving, then now you have some basic tips to go by on how to save a relationship.



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When does the life saving personal relationship with Lord-God Jesus start?

June 16, 2009
saving a relationship
Nina, BaC asked:


Dorothy H: I am happy to see you around. : )

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June 14, 2009
saving a relationship
Tony Smith asked:


Trying to save your relationship can be frustrating and a difficult thing to do. There’s always the worry that you could make one wrong move and end up losing the person you love forever.

Unfortunately, sometimes what feels like the right thing to do, often times isn’t. Most of the time we should be following the ‘counterintuitive path’. Whenever you feel like calling is the time when you should remain cool instead. When you feel like pouring your heart out, you should just do the opposite.

Now, I’ll have to warn you ahead of time. The methods that you are about to read are probably something that you’ve never seen before. At first glance, it could appear to feel and look wrong. However, it has been proven numerous times to be effective in some of the most complicated situations.

Counterintuitive Technique #1:

The first technique you should use is to accept and agree with the fact that your ex has broken it off with you. This can be a difficult thing to do. Chances are, you will have some type of internal battle going on before you are able to let yourself accept the break up.

Understanding why you should accept the breakup and how it can help you save your relationship can definitely help you. The main reason is it will give your ex time to miss you again. Your ex will also respect you more.

There’s a chance that they’re upset and mad at you right now. Especially if you have been calling them and nagging about getting back together.

Counterintuitive Technique #2:

The other technique that you should use right now is to eliminate all of your communication with them. You are probably at the point of closing your browser right now. Hold on! This technique will really work for you. It will help you accept the breakup and will show your ex that you are serious.

When you’re not communicating, you’re allowing your ex the time they need to miss you. And it also gives them time to get over the reasons for the breakup. This will also be good for your mental health and will help you be able to think clearly.

Also, it will set you up for the next technique.



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