he has asked me to move in with him but i am worried. he was supposed to come up and stay and hasn’t because he said he couldn’t afford to come. making excuses. i wanted him to come to show his commitment and to see how we all get on as a family. But he’s saying that if i am to move in we will need all the money we can get hold of until we’re sorted out. i know he has a fear and gets panic attacks but can’t he even try???

I am worried that he is taking the mick out of me, i have been hurt in the past and left standing…although now i have kids to put first. if he doesn’t come up here how can we test the water?? we might not get on living together. and to be honest how well can you know someone when you see them once a week? and what if he hasn’t really got a fear or travalling and i’m a gullible idiot! he could be using me.

what do you reckon?? am i being selfish. we are made for each other (at face value). he tells me he loves me all the time and he talks about our future together etc etc But i can’t halp being suspicious. my last relationship was violent and he was a control freak. so i am a little scared.

not all men are losers…right??
he will lose his house as well if i don’t move in, he hasn’t told me that but i know he can’t afford it single handed. Theres no prob with that he can move somewhere else (if he can get the bond together) but it is in a great location and the schools are fantastic. If I don’t do it now then that means when we do move in later on we’ll have to completely start a fresh. Including saving up a bond etc and we more than likely won’t beable to afford to get back into the area. and we’ll have to settle for some cheap dodgy area.

And yes he has met the kids and they are all ok with each other. He has kids of his own so he’s not a weirdo or anything. he also has had long relationships so he’s not after a bit of skirt. but the prob is he wants his cake and to eat it. he’s very ‘us’ orientated but whether its just a front i don’t know. It’s a huge gamble!! i can move back though as long as I keep the keys for my old place. so i have a leeway of a couple of weeks.

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