richard zook asked:
Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.
Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.
When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.
Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And, then do it.
Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Is your relationship worth saving? If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.
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By admin
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Posted in Uncategorized
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Tagged Core Issue, Core Issues, Core Problems, Emotions, Feelings, Guilt, How To Save A Relationship, Lack Of Intimacy, Marriage, Meeting The Children, Pornography, True Intimacy, Truth, Ups
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Jon S asked:
My girlfriend of 3 years just decided to call it off because of a few things. We lived together for the past 2 1/2 years so this makes it harder. The biggest thing is she had to ask me if she looked pretty…I should have told her. Another problem is I didn’t(lately)greet her with a kiss all the time when she came home…I should have. And the biggest thing is that I never brought her to meet my family yet and it had to do with my mother never wanting a girl over after the last breakup with my kids mother. My girlfriend told me to leave her alone for a week so she can sort out her feelings. I am trying but it is so hard. She told me I was the greatest and I did everything for her, and she should have communicated better. There were a couple of things she said to make me believe she may give this another chance, but please help me out here I don’t want to lose her, I feel that she is the one and I love her more than anything. I know I can’t call her.
Monica Manning asked:
Sally and Rick are parents. Rick works long hours to make ends meet monetarily. Sally feels he is a workaholic, not there for her. She works hard meeting the needs of the household members, and Rick doesn’t feel that she meets his needs. Aaargh! Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here are 7 steps to save a relationship.
First, the very important common ground of both people wanting to save the relationship, to stay in it, must be met. The question, “Stay or go?” needs to be answered. To just stay in for the kids sake just doesn’t cut it. A commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving is needed.
Second, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
For example, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. Really, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem, like a lack of true intimacy. Yes, the affair is the immediate disruption that brought the problem out in the open, but the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.
Next, begin to share your thoughts. Both partners can verbalize their feelings and listen to each other’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.
Create an action plan to solve the pinpointed problems. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. Forget any avoidance strategies. Instead, take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together a certain day of the week. If ommunicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. Sticking to an action plan is how to save a relationship.
Lastly, realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
By admin
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Posted in Uncategorized
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Tagged Avoidance Strategies, Break Ups, Common Ground, Concrete Steps, Disruption, Feelings, Household Members, How To Save A Relationship, Lack Of Intimacy, Monetarily, Parents, Sake, Sally, Ups, Workaholic
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Javier Chua asked:
Does your partner spend long hours working and you felt that he or she is not there for you? Do you feel your partner has spent most of the time meeting the children’ needs and tend to neglect your needs? Are you thinking whether this kind of relationship can be saved?
Step 1: Decide Whether Your Relationship Is Worth Saving?
Almost all relationship can be saved but it is a matter of hard work put in to make it work. Normally, both parties must decide whether they want to get back together because if one side opt out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is not much stuff can be done.
Most people stay in a relationship or remain in a marriage due to the children or because it is convenient. This is not enough as how to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.
Step 2: Pinpoint the Exact Problems in a Relationship
You must find out the real problems in a relationship in order to save a relationship. One of the major problems among most undesired relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
For instance, most people think that an affair is a main problem that causes break ups. However, the affair is just a symptom of a real problem. A lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, they did not realize the main cause of the affair was actually the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. In order to save your relationship, make sure you start to handle with the core issues rather than symptoms.
Step 3: Share Your Thoughts with Your Partner
Make sure you identified the core problems behind the broken relationship and once this is done, you can begin to share your thoughts with your partner. This includes both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns.
Step 4: Hold Your Partner’s Hand While Talking About Your Problems
Try to hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems. This tends to signal to your partner that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that may hurt you, remind yourself that he or she is not doing it purposely to hurt you. Instead, they just want to improve the relationship.
Step 5: Create an Action Plan to Solve the Problems
Once you have identified the real problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them together with your partner. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night at least once a week. Make sure the two of you take turns to come up with creative ways to spend an evening together on your favourite day of the week, e.g. Each Friday.
Step 6: Spend 20 Minutes Each Day to Talk to Each Other
If the main problem is not communicating, commit 20 minutes each day to talk to one another before going to bed. This will tend to help couples to understand one another better and at the same time relief some stress.
Step 7: Ongoing Process to Save a Relationship
Lastly, you should have realized that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward and to take one step back only. Remember to be quick at apologizing and slow to blaming. You will feel both laughter and tears while going forward and that is life. Feel it with the one you love and treasure it as memories.
Is your relationship worth saving? Find out more on how to get back together with your ex love.
Watch the video testimonial of people who managed to get your ex back at http://www.howtogetback.com/testimonials.htm and hope you will be the next one to get back together with your ex.
By admin
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Posted in Uncategorized
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Tagged Break Ups, Broken Relationship, Core Issues, Core Problems, Feelings, How To Save A Relationship, Lack Of Intimacy, Marriage, Meeting The Children, Share Your Thoughts, Step 3, True Intimacy, Ups
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Kenneth Dean asked:
No relationship ever goes smooth sailing all the way. At some stages of the relationship, a couple could undergo conflicts and misunderstandings. However, there are relationships that could put one or both of the individuals in such turmoil while trying to make it work which makes you doubt the wisdom in saving a relationship such as this. No amount of marriage counseling and trying can revive the respect and love. The passion is just not there anymore. Then it starts to go downhill as this leads to other problems such as going on a date. Family and friends could give us countless tips and suggestions just to realize that problems still lie beneath.
In the eyes of many, it may seem that saving a relationship may be the noble and the right thing to do. However, only you and your partner could really assess if all the trouble and effort will be well worth it. After all has been said and done, it could be that divorce or separation is the best way to take. Having gone through so much together generally makes the couple take a shot at saving a relationship despite the amount of effort and hurt that it could entail. In the end, all these could be futile especially if the feelings are no longer there.
You can make a self-assessment just to check if saving it should be in your agenda. If you were to make a list of people you love hanging out with, is this person on the list? Do you generally have a good time together? Is being with this person make you feel content? Do you remember when was the last time you had so much fun just being with this person? I ask you these because these are the basic things that make a relationship work at the very least, finding joy, contentment and solace in the person you are in a relationship with.
Being able to respect, listen and understand your partner’s views and vice versa is most essential in any relationship. Can you honestly say that this is true in your case? If this is so, saving a relationship is still possible
A relationship is where you can find solace and security when everything has gone awry. It is where you momentarily take a breather, take stock of things and regain your strength and self-confidence. If this is not where you are at during troubled times, then the relationship may not be happening at all.
Issues about unfaithfulness should be dealt with promptly because jealousy and distrust can eat up even healthy relationships. If you and your partner are not able to trust each other, you should both consider undergoing marriage counseling or therapy.
Saving a relationship is a monumental task and any decision to save or end it should be taken only after all relevant issues have been seriously taken into consideration. After presenting yourself with these questions and giving truly honest answers, then you can perhaps adjudge if you should quit now or persevere at saving a relationship.
By admin
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Posted in Uncategorized
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Tagged Conflicts, Countless Tips, Divorce, Family And Friends, Feelings, Finding Joy, Good Time, Marriage, Misunderstandings, Passion, Relationships, Saving A Relationship, Self Assessment, Solace, Wisdom
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