Monica Manning asked:
Sally and Rick are parents. Rick works long hours to make ends meet monetarily. Sally feels he is a workaholic, not there for her. She works hard meeting the needs of the household members, and Rick doesn’t feel that she meets his needs. Aaargh! Can this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Here are 7 steps to save a relationship.
First, the very important common ground of both people wanting to save the relationship, to stay in it, must be met. The question, “Stay or go?” needs to be answered. To just stay in for the kids sake just doesn’t cut it. A commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving is needed.
Second, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.
For example, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. Really, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem, like a lack of true intimacy. Yes, the affair is the immediate disruption that brought the problem out in the open, but the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.
Next, begin to share your thoughts. Both partners can verbalize their feelings and listen to each other’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.
Create an action plan to solve the pinpointed problems. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. Forget any avoidance strategies. Instead, take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together a certain day of the week. If ommunicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. Sticking to an action plan is how to save a relationship.
Lastly, realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
By admin
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Posted in Uncategorized
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Tagged Avoidance Strategies, Break Ups, Common Ground, Concrete Steps, Disruption, Feelings, Household Members, How To Save A Relationship, Lack Of Intimacy, Monetarily, Parents, Sake, Sally, Ups, Workaholic
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;] asked:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 yrs and lived together for 3 yrs. He says he still loves me but not as much as he did before. He basically broke up with me and told me that he needs space to think about our relationship . How much space does he need?! I’m in another state visiting my family right now so he told me all of this over the phone. I have a feeling that all of this happened because of this new girl he met. What do you guys think? I’m so depressed i cant sleep or eat, all i think about is HIM. Do you think there is any hope for us getting back together or is he just playing games with me??
I would love to able to go talk to him face-to-face about this but he refuses to let me come back. He told me to just stay at my parents house while I’m giving him space.
Edwards
Bukio asked:
I am 17 in florida and shes 15 in california. We talk and get along fine nothing horrible. My parents like her and want us to be together. The problem is her parents don’t like me. They only let us talk on the phone so she doesn’t give them much trouble and can use the threat of taking it away to get her to do things. We have been together for 3 years now. We have tried talking to them but they just won’t listen and keep saying were to young. I know we are but how are we to expericene life if they dont give a chance? any advice?
We also have never been face to face any advice on how we can get together would be great.
Kenny
carl asked:
Hi i just wanted some help from u guys.. i met this girl late june at a party.. we got a long well the following week we had a long chat at an ice cream parlour, a few days later we went for a movie together.. we loved each others company so much,, then on july 28th at 11:48pm she sms’d me that she likes me.. i said that i to like her.. she called me regularly in the following days… a few weeks later she sms’d me telling that she loves me and that i am her bf ..she said that at this age we need to think for the future and that its not for fun to be in a relationship.. then on august 8th she had called me over to her work area in college we had a chat for a while .. she looked dull she later told me that her parents are looking out for a guy for her and that she is not sure how long we can hang togetter.. i was shattered… later that nite she said that everything will be alrigth and that we need to have faith..sshe wanted me to meet her parents. thw following weeks she started acting strangly with me.. she used to ask me if every one in college knew abt out relationship and when i said yes she would be happy then the next week would say things like ” are we dating ? ” , i started going crazy by the way she was behaving .. i used to message a lot… to know the truth she then said that i need some space.. i backed out a bit… then once nite she said that we can only be friends our family and lifestyle dont match i was devastated.. i kept away she messaged the next3 days saying sorry and stuff that she should not have said all tht.. a few days later i called her and expressed how i felt abt her.. for a few days she was good to me then it went back to her moody nature.. she acted very indifferent on the phone .. never talke abt meeting up over weekends.. i kept away then after a few days she would sms/call me .. say like lets catch up.. sms me if i was alright … this weeks she’s back to her moody nature …
a few days ago i found out through a common friends that she had said that she was feeling lonely and that she was willing to have a love marraige if her parents we ok with the guy…am still in col will have to get a job next semester when i graduate….. need some help..
am feeling low ..
Floyd
By admin
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Posted in Singles & Dating
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Tagged Abt, Advice, Bf, Commo, Faith, Few Days, Lifestyle, Parents, Relationship Problem, Tht, Truth
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