Richard Y. asked:


What happened? Why is your relationship drifting apart? Do you want to keep your relationship? Is it worth keeping? Lots of difficult questions. How to save a relationship? Under an emotional state of mind a guide will be helpful in answering some of these questions. It is best if your partner is involved as relationship is about two human beings.

1. Is there anything worth saving in your relationship?

List down the positives about your relationship. Keep the negatives out. The positives are usually what gets the both of you into the relationship in the beginning. The positives are the drivers to give the both of you the determination to want and on how to save your relationship. Note that there are no right or wrong answers on how to save a relationship as it will depends on your values and priorities.

2. Identify the root or real causes that are hurting your relationship

First list down the symptoms that both of you feel are hurting your relationship. The symptoms are much easier to identify. Example of symptom is like a headache but the root or real cause of the headache could be due to a lack of sleep. From the symptoms, identify the underlying root or real cause for each of the symptom. These are probably your negatives in your relationship. Be open with each other when discussing these. If it is difficult because of the emotions involved, suggest to involve a counselor or somebody that the both of you are comfortable with.

3. Develop a plan to work on the root or real causes

Once the root or real causes are identified, develop a plan on how to save a relationship. Solutions will be readily available from many sources like from books, magazines, the internet, your counselor, friends and others. It all depends on how creative you are. Prioritize on a few critical ones as not all problems are of equal importance. It takes a lot of effort and time, and such prioritizing is important as the effort put in much give maximum impact or result. Choose the solutions that both of you are comfortable with.

4. What does it take to make the plan works?

A want to save the relationship. When there is a desire, there will be effort to make things happened. Human beings are creature of emotions. Be respectful of each other emotions. When emotions are involved, logic has no place in the solution. Address the emotions first before addressing the solutions. A relationship is about compromise. Without compromise, the relationship will not work. Winning every arguments or being right every time does not earn relationship points. To lose an argument and winning relationship points would be the best compromise. Relationship is all about communication. To communicate is to open up the relationship. Just like our human body, when you have a cut, the pain you feel is the communication to you to treat the cut in order to maintain a healthy body. As such communication in a relationship is a feedback to maintain a healthy relationship. There is no perfect plan. Make adjustments as and when required.

Relationship building is not a one night stand. If you do not want to put in time and effort to a relationship, do not commit to one. It takes a lot of sacrifice, effort and time to build up a wonderful and lasting relationship but the rewards are bountiful.

Watch an excellent video that reveals the most important steps and the unconventional strategies on how to save a relationship.